The narrative you are about to read is no ordinary text. It is the story of how you survived the madness and the horror of creatures and dishes beyond mortal comprehension. Or it is the story of how your mind and body were pulled apart by forces beyond space and time and your very soul left shrieking in the abyss. This text is fraught with all the confusion and despair normally undiscovered by any save the most intrepid students of hypergeometry and postmodern literature programs. It scorns presentation in any quotidian linear narrative form, shackled by so-called “laws” of “cause” followed by alleged “effect.” Your own tortured choices are the only guide you will have in this journey beyond sanity into the ultimate meaninglessness of the devouring void.
No, it is NOT simply a recapitulation of the old “Choose-Your-Own-Adventure” books found in children’s libraries. And even if it were, then it would be full of deep and ironic postmodern significance. In fact, I don’t even know what you’re talking about. The very suggestion betrays your utter ignorance and lack of sophistication.
And now, ENTER, if you dare…
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