Wednesday, October 12, 2022

“It’s What You Think” • by Bob McHugh


Fiona spoke into her watch. “Accuracy data on ‘It’s not what you think.’”

Global recorded utterances of “It‘s not what you think”: 11.82 million

Estimated accuracy of statement: 35.17%

“That’s pretty high,” Vance said. “You know me. I can explain.”

“Wait.” Fiona glared at Vance. “Isolate instances responding to accusations of adultery.”

Global recorded utterances: 3.46 million

Estimated accuracy of statement: 1.12%

“I’m that one percent!” He leaned into Fiona’s watch. “Data on Vance Kellman, ID 304553. Break down relationship and fidelity statistics.”

Romantic relationships longer than two weeks: Five

Recorded infidelities: Zero

“Past not indicative of future performance,” Fiona said, but she wanted to believe. “Fine, explain.”

“Oh, you’ll let me explain? Well…uh, see…”


Bob McHugh is a Boston-based writer and father of two; he is immensely grateful to be both of those things. He is the semi-proud recipient of an MFA in Creative Writing from Emerson College. His work has appeared in Daily Science Fiction and several anthologies. Follow him @sentientletter on Twitter.