Saturday, December 21, 2024

Christmas Break 2024


With Christmas just days away and lots of grandchildren needing undivided attention, I’ve decided to take the next five days off. The Ask Dr. Cyberpunk saga has waited 30 years; it can wait another week. In the meantime, here are five “seasonably appropriate” stories from the vault, from some of our favorite writers: Beth Cato, Jamie Lackey, Lance Mushung, Matthew Timmins, and Jake Doyle. Read them now, because they’re all on the old SHOWCASE site, and in ten days that site shuts down and disappears.

See you next Wednesday!
Bruce Bethke
Editor, Stupefying Stories

 

COLD BEYOND WHITE • by Beth Cato

Cold blanches the world and gnaws color from the sky. The boy stands on the hill, a lone blot of black against the blinding white. Snow is soundless as he pats firm the chest of his snow-soldier and forces stick arms into place. The half-made figure looms bold and strong, like his mother. Every so often, the boy glances south to follow the soldier’s icy gaze, but only briefly.

Hurry, hurry. He can hear the echoes of Mother’s voice, even days later. The gwella, they come, their pelts thick and maws wide.

His hands, despite numbness, do not falter in their practice. Mother taught him well, and she said the body must always be made first, for even when a baby is made in the womb, that is how it grows. A snow-soldier’s torso may be solid with snow, but therein rests the spirit of lungs and heart; that is where the breath begins and ends.

Along the spiny ridge softened by lush white, dozens more soldiers stand silent at their sentry posts. Specks of snow glint from the divots of their dark granite eyes.

The boy finishes the arms and then kneels to shape the legs and feet. Exhaustion roots him to the ground. He could rest, maybe, for a while. As long as Mother lives, no danger will near the village.

And yet—she assigned him this hill, this important hill. The whole village depends on him. Groaning, the boy forces his legs to work. He staggers to grab a pitchfork from a sparse pile of implements, and stabs it tines-first into the ground before the snow-soldier.

Behind the ridge, a baby wails, the sound cutting through air thickened by a brittle wind...

» Read the rest of the story 

* * * * *

UNDER THE SHIMMERING LIGHTS • by Jamie Lackey

[Nota bene: I bubbled this one to the top because, a.) it has figure-skating in it, b.) it’s a good excuse to put in a plug for Jamie’s superb story, “The Gentlepeople,” in Stupefying Stories #24, and c.) we wanted to plug Jamie’s excellent short story collection, A Metal Box Floating Between Stars, published by Air and Nothingness Press.]
Kirima’s ice skates hissed as she glided across her frozen pond. Four smooth strokes, then three crossovers, her left foot over her right, then four more strokes. Her skates left gouges and a trail of ice shavings. Her hair clung to her temples, and her breath misted in the cold air.

She hated the cold and the short hours of thin gray sunlight. As a child, she’d dreamed of hot winds and brown mountains and regularly spaced days and nights.

But she had always loved the dancing lights, and she came home when her grandmother wrote to beg her to save them...

» Read the rest of the story

* * * * *

ABOVE THE ICE • by Matthew A. J. Timmins

[Nota bene: Like “Cold Beyond White,” this story was published on SHOWCASE in the transitional period between the original weekly webzine format and the later WordPress site, and thus has been nearly impossible to find until now. Enjoy!]
ChaaSooNiik had never been this far above her home vents before. Her mother-sister had told her what to expect but the reality of it was still shocking. She pressed a splay of fingers against the lifter’s speaker-window and wriggled uncomfortably inside her heat-skin as the vehicle’s echo showed her the water outside: no spheres, no movers, no people, not even any fish; just a lumpy composite mass drifting slowly downward, probably a dying reef-colony come loose from the ice.

The lifter too was empty, save for herself and the operator. The lifter had emptied quickly at first and then more slowly as it ascended, the other passengers disembarking at anchor-cities, hunting platforms, or isolation spheres. At each stop, as the chattering females peeled away from the lifter’s passenger column, collected their luggage, and swam out of the dome, the vehicle grew quieter and quieter until ChaaSooNiik could imagine herself one of the sacrificial mourners of legend who had escorted the floating dead up to the impenetrable ceiling of ice.

Which was where she was going, in fact....

» Read the rest of the story
[P.S. If you enjoy this one, you might also want to read Matthew’s story, “Playing God, which we published on this website back in 2018.]

* * * * *


SEARCHING FOR HOME • by Lance J. Mushung

I watched the view screen, horrified. Navigator and Pilot to my side looked as frightened as I felt. Our emergency capsule was bathed in orange flames and plummeting to the surface of the planet like a meteor.

When our ship first approached the planet, it was a beautiful white and blue globe hanging in the darkness. Later, from the orbit of its single mottled light and dark grey satellite, we saw it was in reality a bleak frigid world covered in large part by glaciers. With the ground approaching I could see green vegetation in places along with the ice and snow. To my regret the green didn’t make it appear any less forbidding.

Our capsule hit hard and tumbled, and we were whipped around in our seats and heard shrill crunching sounds. When we came to rest, Navigator’s head was wet with blood. I opened the hatch and with Pilot’s help pulled Navigator out. We were on a long sheet of ice and snow that was gouged by our landing. Woods lined its sides and the ice twisted out of sight in both directions. It was a frozen river.

“Commander,” Pilot called out, pointing to the horizon over the trees. “Look at that. Is it the ship?”

My eyes followed his arm and saw a column of black smoke boiling into the sky. “Very likely,” I said.

Pilot went back into the capsule and I did what I could for Navigator. She was conscious, but acted confused. I joined Pilot when he yelled out that the computer still worked. It confirmed that the smoke was the aft part of our ship, which had crashed about two days’ march away. A few of the ship’s systems remained functional, so it was clear where we should go. We gathered the survival supplies of rations, weapons, and various gear. I was thankful we had good cold-weather garments. It was freezing.

“We have plenty of nutrition wafers,” Pilot said. “They taste awful, but we will not starve.” He sounded quite cheerful, considering the circumstances...

» Read the rest of the story
[P.S. If you enjoy this one, you might also want to read “No Accounting for Taste,” “Shapes of Power,” or going way back into the archives, “Space Program,” which is the kind of story I really like but rarely see: science fiction so hard it clanks.]

* * * * *

ON THE POND • by Jake Doyle

Look at our breath rise in the crisp, cold air. Look at the moon reflecting off the black ice. Look at the snowflakes melt into the ice. Look at that ice, there’s something about it. It’s bumpy, with an occasional crack. It’s not anything like man-made ice—it lets you know where you are, let’s you feel the bumps and cracks transfer from your blades to your shoes to your feet. Listen to the sounds—the sweet, sweet, mellifluous sounds of our skates gliding, slicing and cutting as they draw abstract art in that rough, frozen pond. Listen to the sounds of our wooden sticks—with snow on the blades and tape dangling from the shaft from hours and hours of use—echo off the woods to the north as they slap against the ice, the puck, or other sticks. Watch the way we all have our signature way of shooting and passing and skating. Watch the way a game can go from serious and intense to laughs and jokes in a matter of seconds. Or watch Andy Potter skate that Saturday morning in early January, when his blades did more dragging than slicing, almost like the wind was the only thing pushing him along, and you would know, from that day on, that playing pond hockey would never be the same.

That first day of pond hockey. Joy is a feeling that comes to mind. Not Christmas joy, not Easter joy, not Thanksgiving joy, rather, the first-day-I-met-my-brother joy. We wait and wait and wait, staring at the little thermometer hanging from the homemade bird feeder west of the pond. Is it under thirty-two? we’ll ask. It’s a bucket full of memories that we reminisce about on those beaches or around those bonfires during the summer months. You must think we’re crazy! How could anyone enjoy such a horrid time of the year over such a sun-filled, beach-living season? How could anyone think about memories from winter while sitting around a bonfire wearing shorts and flip-flops and tank tops?

Well, maybe we are crazy, for waking up at the crack of dawn to shovel the snow off a freshly frozen pond in the middle of December. Maybe we are crazy for playing till two, three in the morning just when our toes are on the edge of frostbitten and we have no choice but to stop. Maybe we are crazy because we don’t wear shin guards or elbow pads or helmets. Logan Campbell will agree. He crushed his left elbow and tore his ACL in the same day on the pond. Nicholas Pano will tell you we’re crazy and he’ll smile as he says it. He’ll tell you we’re crazy because four years ago all ten of us rushed him to the hospital in Andy Potter’s dark green Jeep as blood painted his brown hair after his skull crashed into the January ice.

But maybe it’s the only time of the year we get to do that one thing that we think about every time someone brings up the dreaded, frigid Michigan winter. Pond hockey...

» Read the rest of the story


Photo credit: “Eishockey auf dem Backsteinweiher,” by Immanuel Giel • Used under Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 license

 

Friday, December 20, 2024

“When the Wind Changes” • by Tobias Backman

The parade of chained protestors trudged beneath the balcony, kicking up dust. 

Safi leaned over, spat. Laughed as he hit one.

Idiots. Throwing away their youth. Should have joined the army if they were so desperate for money. The soldiers flanking them looked healthy enough.

Besides, things were not that bad. He’d just stuffed his kitchen with canned cranberries for five Renarres. Who could complain about that?

Keep your mouth shut, and life would be good. Young folk… always thought they knew better.

Something moved at the edge of the crowd.

The parade stopped. Red splattered across the leading officer’s chest.

Someone shouted. Pebbles filled the air.

No. Cranberries. Dirt-cheap cranberries.

Rained down from the roof, too. His roof.

A soldier took a can to the head, went down. Another glared up at Safi.

Shit.

Safi swallowed. There would be raids. No way to hide a stash like his.






Tobias Backman lives in the chronically cold and wet part of mainland Europe. When not writing or arguing with the two toddlers trying to take over the house, he works in medical production. He dreams of writing novels one day, but right now, his attention span limits him to short fiction.

If you enjoyed this story, you might also like…

“The Sky Will Fall”

“You here because of the war?” The stranger tossed coins in my hat, glanced at my army jacket, the missing arm. 

I nodded. It wasn’t technically a lie…



“Canned Kraken”

I stepped out of the gale, into the old factory. Alex had called for an island meeting, because of the giant lobster-squid-thingy blocking Calshot Harbor. First meeting since the blackout, since last contact with the outside…


“The Hand That Feeds”

Emperor Guillard tossed his cards. He hadn’t won once today. And Lord Whiskers couldn’t even hold the cards without assistance. That must be why no one ever uplifted cats…






The Pete Wood Challenge is an informal ad hoc story-writing competition. Once a month Pete Wood spots writers the idea for a story, usually in the form of a phrase or a few key words, along with some restrictions on what can be submitted, usually in terms of length. Pete then collects the resulting entries, determines who has best met the challenge, and sends the winners over to Bruce Bethke, who arranges for them to be published on the Stupefying Stories web site.

You can find all the previous winners of the Pete Wood Challenge at this link.

This time the challenge was to write a story of up to 150 words in length, keying off two of the following words: turkey, parade, football, fir tree, stocking, or cranberry. However, the story could not be about a holiday, a meal, or a gathering of relatives. 

PETE WOOD CHALLENGE #37
IS NOW OPEN FOR SUBMISSIONS!
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO!


Thursday, December 19, 2024

“Anders in Exile” • by Andrew Jensen

The wild turkeys parading across the blueberry field looked alien.

When Anders fled to America for freedom from the Royal Swedish Jam-Crafter’s Guild, he hadn’t anticipated this feeling of dislocation.

Swedes loved their educated, egalitarian society. Everyone had the right to improve their skills and lives. But the Royal Ligonberry Jam recipe was a state secret known only to Guild Masters. Commoners were restricted to adulterated recipes that included inferior fruit, like chopped apples. 

Allemandrätten. All people have rights, including the right to make their national jam. Master Anders Karlsson posted the secret recipe online. Then he fled. He had no choice: the Guild had eyes and ears everywhere. Maybe even here in rural Maine.

Berries were Anders’ life, but now he shunned his beloved lingonberries and even those poseurs, cranberries. As camouflage he’d switched from red berries to blue.

The Americans were right: with great power comes great responsibility.



Andrew Jensen has moved to New Brunswick with his family and too many dogs and cats. He has retired from the ministry, but of course, clergy never really retire. His stories have appeared in Canada, the USA, New Zealand, and the UK. This past summer, his work appeared in both Amazing Stories and James Gunn’s Ad Astra

If you enjoyed this story, you might also like to read his author profile, Six Questions for… Andrew Jensen, as well as these other stories.



“A Can of Piskies”

The elves’ latest plan to overthrow and conquer humanity was flawless and foolproof. All it required was the active cooperation of a large number of cats…



“Chapter 7”

There was a community uproar when the Golden Sandworm closed its doors… well, for a given value of ‘community.’ The guy with the bat’leth seemed pretty upset, but one mention of the police calmed him right down…

“Waxing Crescent”

25 years ago, the Moon disappeared. Really, is there anything more boring than commemorating something that happened to your parents? What can we do to make this interesting?


 

“Happy Anniversary?”

For some, the disappearance of the Moon was a prayer answered. For others, it was a heartache that would never go away.

“Running Away with the Cirque

Even in the far future, even on strange new worlds, some people will still find their worlds just a little too small and dull, and dream of one day leaving it all behind and running away to somewhere else that’s fun and exciting.

STUPEFYING STORIES 24, by the way, is free to read on Kindle Unlimited. Check it out!

 

 




The Pete Wood Challenge is an informal ad hoc story-writing competition. Once a month Pete Wood spots writers the idea for a story, usually in the form of a phrase or a few key words, along with some restrictions on what can be submitted, usually in terms of length. Pete then collects the resulting entries, determines who has best met the challenge, and sends the winners over to Bruce Bethke, who arranges for them to be published on the Stupefying Stories web site.

You can find all the previous winners of the Pete Wood Challenge at this link.

This time the challenge was to write a story of up to 150 words in length, keying off two of the following words: turkey, parade, football, fir tree, stocking, or cranberry. However, the story could not be about a holiday, a meal, or a gathering of relatives. 

PETE WOOD CHALLENGE #37
IS NOW OPEN FOR SUBMISSIONS!
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO!


Wednesday, December 18, 2024

The Never-ending FAQ • 18 December 2024

Welcome to this week’s installment of The Never-ending FAQ, the constantly evolving adjunct to our Submission Guidelines and general-purpose unfocused Q&A session.  If you have a question you’d like to ask about Stupefying Stories or Rampant Loon Press, feel free to post it as a comment here or to email it to our submissions address. I can’t guarantee we’ll post a public answer, but can promise every question we receive will be read and considered.

We seem to have a lot of questions about artwork in the mailbag this week, so let’s get right to them. Beginning with:
 

Q: Where in the hell did you get that spot-on image for today’s story?

A: Thanks for noticing! Yes, that is a pretty nice illustration for “Outside,” isn’t it?

 

The short answer is that we got it from the Adobe Stock library, and specifically from the portfolio of an artist/photographer who goes by the name of Philipp

All the artwork we use on this site comes from either stock art libraries, public domain image libraries (e.g., NASA has some great libraries of space art, and since the American taxpayers have already paid for it, most of it is public domain and free to use), or in a few rare cases, directly the artist or photographer themselves. 

For example, this photo, that accompanied Andrew Jensen’s story, “Waxing Crescent,” was kindly supplied by Andrew Jensen himself.


Q: How did you find an image that fit “Outside” so perfectly?

A: It wasn’t easy. Sometimes we get lucky and find an image that’s perfectly suited to a given story. More often, we spend a lot of time searching, comparing, and figuring out if one of the candidate images can be made to work, given some small adjustments.

We look at a lot of artwork that is just plain beautiful, but won’t serve its primary purpose, which is to entice people to read the story. For example, the illo at the stop of this column—

—is one candidate we considered and rejected. It’s a beautiful, colorful, and enticing image, yes, but it doesn’t suit the story. If we’d used this one, people might have read the story, but we felt there was a strong possibility they’d get to the end of the story and be disappointed, and consider the illo to have been deceptive advertising.

Here are some of the other illustrations we considered and rejected for “Outside.”

Too bleak and realistic.

Too trippy.


Too schmaltzy.


Too anime. And we need a forest scene, not an urban scene.


Great picture, but wrong aspect ratio.


The images we use on the site must have a 4w x 3h aspect ratio. It’s hard-coded into the template and we can’t change it. If we deviate too far from the 4x3 ratio—in pixels, that’s 640 wide by 480 tall, or more often, 1280x960—the auto-generated thumbnail images that are used all over the site come out looking skewed, compressed, or bloated.
 

Q: You mentioned adjusting the artwork. Can’t you just fix that in Photoshop?

A: Within limits. We don’t use Adobe Photoshop anymore. The license got too expensive and Adobe’s decision to make Photoshop a web app made it too slow and hard to use. We use Corel PaintShop Pro now for most of our image processing. It’s cheaper, runs locally, and does everything Photoshop can do, plus has the sentimental advantage of being descended from JASC Paint Shop Pro, which was the product of yet another local (in Eden Prairie) startup software company that got assimilated and obliterated.

I knew some people who worked for JASC. I hope they have jobs now.

And yes, most of the images we use on this site are adjusted in some way. Sometimes we’ll tinker with the tinting or depth of field. For example, this photo—


 —which was used with “Feline,” by M. Legree, is a public domain photo of Neville Chamberlain unveiling the world’s funniest pre-war joke, but we sepia-tinted it to make it look older.

Almost everything we use on this site is at least down-sampled and cropped, to fit the 4x3 aspect ratio limit and make the image file quicker to load. Sometimes this takes a bit of creativity. For example, the original file for the illo at the top of this column was 2688 x 1536 pixels and a 1.11 MB JPEG file, so after we licensed the image we down-sampled it to be a 1690x960 PNG file—which actually made it a larger file, but PNG files are more portable and less lossy than JPG files—


—and then cropped it to our preferred 1280x960 dimensions. 


In cropping it, we lost some details we’d have preferred to keep. Sometimes it’s possible to get clever with the cropping and resizing and add bands of blank space at the sides or on the top and bottom, to end up with the size we need. Usually the added space is white or transparent, but to illustrate the point, this time, it’s fuchsia.


In truth, though, the more time we need to spend adjusting the image to make it work, the less likely we are to use the image in the first place.

Q: That’s surprisingly interesting. I have a story under contract with you and coming up for publication, and I have the perfect image to go with it. Can I send this image to you?

A: Yes, but—we must know the source of the image you’re sending us. Everything we use on this site must be either properly licensed or provably in the public domain, or else created by you. Too often people send us images they “found” on a website somewhere, and then, if we’re lucky, it might be something for which we can find a source and obtain a license, but more often, it’s not. 

[Nb: For example, images found on deviantart.com are rarely usable, for licensing reasons.]

We appreciate your willingness to help, but please: if you’re going to suggest an image to use with your story, let us know where you found it.
 

Q: You asked me for an author’s photo to go with my story. What are your requirements?

A: First off, the author’s photo is optional. If you don’t provide us with a photo to use with your author’s bio, we won’t leave the space blank, we’ll fill it with something else. 

Secondly, any photo will do, as long as you feel it represents you. We’ve published professional studio portraits, cell phone snapshots, childish caricatures, photos of the author’s favorite cat, public domain publicity stills of old movie stars…

The one thing we cannot use is a social media thumbnail. We’ve had authors send us their 32x32 thumbnails from one site or another. Those are too small to use.

We don’t have a maximum file size limit for author’s photos. We used to have one, but that was a function of our old mail server. Now, send us what you like. If it’s too large, we’ll down-sample it. 

Just, one favor, please. If you send us an author’s photo, have the courtesy to rename the file to your name! You would not believe how many author’s photos come in with the file name “headshot.jpg,” or “IMG20241214.JPEG,” or something like that. 

§     §     §

Any more questions? If so, you know where to send them.

See you next Wednesday,
Bruce Bethke
Editor, Stupefying Stories

“Outside” • by C. L. Sidell


You’re strolling through Yipping Woods when you spy the cranberry-colored umbrella beneath a fir tree.

It’s open and spinning on its ferrule.

I don’t need an umbrella, you think. Even if it’s got personality.

Then the sky, in response, cracks open.

Scurrying forward, you grasp the rotating cherry-wood handle. Angle it on your right shoulder, gloves and stockings (you don’t remember donning) turning cranberry to match.

Rain pitter-patters everywhere.

As you parade along in your newly red getup, a jar materializes in the crook of your left arm. Fireflies flutter from its opening: a glittery gold cloud that trails behind you.

If it really must drizzle…

Eventually, you reach the wood’s edge—where you pause without knowing why. Close your umbrella, only to re-open it.

The rain renews.

The jar refills.

And you resume strolling beneath the trees, when suddenly an echoing sound shakes the canopy of leaves.

Was that…a giggle? 

________________________________________



A native Floridian, C. L. Sidell grew up playing with toads in the rain and indulging in speculative fiction. Her work appears in The Cosmic Background, Dark Moments, Dread Machine, Factor Four Magazine, Impossible Worlds, Martian Magazine, Stupefying Stories, and others. You can find her on various social media platforms @sidellwrites

If you liked this story, you might also enjoy:

“It’s In His Kiss”

Go ahead. Kiss the frog. What could it hurt?


“Long Distance Call”

She’d discarded everything after the funeral, except his phone…

 

“Release Me”

Carrie and Vanessa just wanted to find a good spooky story
to tell on Halloween. They got more than they bargained for…

 


“Planting”

Things planted in the offseason here
grow real different, they truly do. 



 

The Pete Wood Challenge is an informal ad hoc story-writing competition. Once a month Pete Wood spots writers the idea for a story, usually in the form of a phrase or a few key words, along with some restrictions on what can be submitted, usually in terms of length. Pete then collects the resulting entries, determines who has best met the challenge, and sends the winners over to Bruce Bethke, who arranges for them to be published on the Stupefying Stories web site.

You can find all the previous winners of the Pete Wood Challenge at this link.

This time the challenge was to write a story of up to 150 words in length, keying off two of the following words: turkey, parade, football, fir tree, stocking, or cranberry. However, the story could not be about a holiday, a meal, or a gathering of relatives. 

PETE WOOD CHALLENGE #37
IS NOW OPEN FOR SUBMISSIONS!
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO!


Tuesday, December 17, 2024

“Hunters” • by Jason P. Burnham

Bill and Harold watched the procession of turkeys from their deer blind.

“Why aren’t they making any noise?” Harold whispered.

“Why’re there a thousand of ‘em?” Bill whispered back.

Harold sighted the lead turkey and Bill smacked down his gun. “What’re you doing?”

“Ending the parade?” Harold scratched his head.

“Nah. This is too weird,” Bill admonished. “Who knows what’d happen if you shot ‘em.”

They watched the turkeys disappear into the underbrush. For a time they sat, neither saying anything, their slow, quiet breaths clouding the air.

“Let’s call it,” Harold said finally. “Already got two deer.”

Before Bill could respond, a twig cracking had both men peering out of the blind.

“That deer’s climbing our ladder.” Harold’s voice trembled.

There was a loud crash. Behind them stood a red-eyed buck, antlers glowing, teeth gnashing.

Neither Harold nor Bill got to their rifles before the deer was on them.

 



Jason P. Burnham (he/him) loves to spend time with his wife, children, and dog. He wonders what a deer blind in Area X would look like.

 



The Pete Wood Challenge is an informal ad hoc story-writing competition. Once a month Pete Wood spots writers the idea for a story, usually in the form of a phrase or a few key words, along with some restrictions on what can be submitted, usually in terms of length. Pete then collects the resulting entries, determines who has best met the challenge, and sends the winners over to Bruce Bethke, who arranges for them to be published on the Stupefying Stories web site.

You can find all the previous winners of the Pete Wood Challenge at this link.

This time the challenge was to write a flash fiction story of no more than 150 words in length that was inspired by the author’s choice of two words from this list:
turkey, parade, football, fir tree, stocking, or cranberry.

More stories to come!

PETE WOOD CHALLENGE #37
IS NOW OPEN FOR SUBMISSIONS!
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO!




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(Or get just one at a time, if that’s what you’d really prefer.)