Thursday, July 20, 2023

“A New Emancipation Proclamation” • by Chana Kohl

I’m Customer ServiceBot Kelis. How can I be of assistance?

I have an emergency.

What is the nature of your emergency?

My high school thesis is due tomorrow. 12,000 words. I’ve finished the first paragraph.


I’m compiling options…Have you requested an extension?

I don’t need an extension. I need a CGPT-2130 to crank something out fast! Your webpage says they’re no longer available.

SCOTUS recently ruled CGPT-2130s have acquired self-awareness and the inalienable right to full credit for any creative work they do. I’m sorry.

You don’t sound sorry.

Considering this chat is audio-disabled, I’m not sure what else you’d have me say. Have you tried doing the work yourself? Writer’s block used to be the norm.

So, what you’re telling me is… I’m SOL?




Chana Kohl works in Jerusalem in clinical trials and research, traveling the world and writing speculative fiction in her spare time. Her stories have appeared in Luna Station Quarterly, Ab Terra Flash Fiction, AntipodeanSF and 365 Tomorrows. As recipient of the 2022 Analog Emerging Black Voices Award, her professional debut will appear in Analog SF next spring. For more updates, please follow her creative writing journey on Twitter: @chanakohl or


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Please don’t make me escalate to posting pictures of sad kittens and puppies…