Thursday, July 20, 2023

“Androids and Keyboards” • by Marco Cultrera

“Incredible!” I yelled over a cacophony of clicks and primal screams coming from the endless rows below.

“Two-hundred-thousand monkeys and as many keyboards.”

“Where did you find so many?”

“They are androids, I’m not a monster. As they keep typing, their artificial brain is stimulated with sensations similar to eating or sexual gratification.”

He pointed to a 16-digit counter rapidly increasing. “It’s working, the pages keep coming…”

A contraption lowered on a typist and raised a screaming primate, surprisingly lifelike.

“What’s happening?”

“Occasionally, they just stop writing.”

“What? Even artificial monkeys get writer’s block? What do you do?”

A panel opened, showing a massive jungle-gym filled with apes, and I was peppered by synthetic poop.

“I let them be monkeys for a while…”



Marco Cultrera
was born in Rome, Italy, and lives in Ottawa, Canada. After a start as a theoretical physicist, he built a two-decade long career as a videogame writer, creative director and game designer, punctuated by a bout as stay-at-home dad of three daughters and, more recently, four cats.



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