To expand a bit on yesterday’s call for help:
I’m looking for people who have experience with producing podcasts, or at least with consuming a lot of podcasts, who ideally can help us to create and produce a hypothetical Stupefying Stories podcast, or at least point me at some good examples and help to teach me how it’s done.
I am not committed to doing a podcast. This is just an idea we’re floating as a possible successor to SHOWCASE. The whole idea is to produce something that draws in potential new readers, and if Fortune smiles upon us, to sell them books.
That’s what Rampant Loon Press is all about, you know. Selling books. To people who want to read them. Sharpened to a fine point, that is the reason why RLP exists. That is the only reason why RLP exists.
I have seen some terrific podcasts we could never hope to emulate, as we’re operating on a shoestring budget. (Oh, to be able to afford two shoestrings, so that I could have both shoes tied at the same time!)
I have seen more terrible podcasts that strike me as good examples of what not to do. Here in the latter half of the third decade of the 21st century, for example, I think doing streaming video is a must, and a purely audio podcast would be a waste of time; but I also have seen a lot of video podcasts that prove that some people really should stick to radio. By far the worst example I’ve seen thus far was a solo video podcast that looked much like the stock art photo above, except that the guy’s studio was much grubbier and more cluttered, his hair and beard greasier and more unkempt, and he never once turned to face the camera. Worse, it was apparently some kind of live call-in show, but he never put the incoming calls on the audio track, nor did he repeat the questions he was asked. He just droned on for half an hour, talking to his computer screen.
At least, I assume it was for half an hour. After about five minutes I started fast-forwarding, hoping it got better. It never did.
Second worst place, by the way, goes to a show that was hosted by two photogenic gents who sat there like a pair of department store mannequins, sharing a split screen, smiling and laughing at each other’s jokes, and never moving. If you’re going to use video, for Pete’s sake, do something!
[No, not for your sake, Pete Wood. Though I must say that I loved your story, Quantum Doughnut, and would really love to be able to include short indie films, like Quantum Doughnut, the movie, in our podcast. The rest of you: if you haven’t seen it, it’s only ten minutes long, and it’s free on YouTube. After you’ve finished reading this post, go watch it.]
I’ll confess, watching that split-screen podcast made me wish I had some construction paper and a pair of scissors, so that I could replace those hosts with South Park-style animation; or at least that I had a pair of socks handy, so I could replace them with sock puppets. It would have been an improvement.
There, that’s another thing I’d like to be able to include in our hypothetical podcast: short animated sequences by indie filmmakers. And perhaps even a musical interlude or two. In my mind an ideal episode would be something like a good reading of Mark Niemann-Ross’s story, “The Music Teacher,” followed by an interview/Q&A segment in which we get the author to talk about the story, and why and how he wrote it (e.g., On Writing “The Music Teacher,” in SHOWCASE #4). And then, since Mark is a musician and music is so integral to the story, perhaps we could even have a few minutes of music illustrating some of the concepts in the story.
You see my problem? I grew up on The Firesign Theater and radio plays, and spent way too much time in recording studios. If it was purely up to me, I’d want to do full-cast recordings, complete with sound effects and incidental music.
But, I know my limitations. I’m a perfectionist. I’m the kind of guy who can spend six hours in a recording studio, just to get the perfect three minutes down on tape. I have video production experience as well, and the same thing applies. The reason the “Liberty Biberty” commercials resonate with me is because I’ve worked with that yutz.
[Sidebar: On one educational video project there was an “Interview” scene in the script, but the schedule didn’t permit us to get both actors in the same place at the same time. Worse, one of the actors looked great, but couldn’t remember two lines in succession. We ended up taking two days to shoot that scene, with one of the crew standing in for Mr. Perfect Haircut on the first day, and then the next day shooting Mr. Haircut reading all of his lines separately, slowly, one at a time, after which we spliced it all together in post so that it looked like they were in the same room at the same time and interacting with each other. At the time I was perversely proud that we’d managed to pull it off. In retrospect, it was an insane amount of time to spend to get less than five minutes of usable running time.]
§
As I hope I’ve gotten across by now, technically, I could do this myself—but I don’t want to. I don’t want to be The Face of Stupefying Stories, or at least not the sole face, though I don’t seem to have a choice in that matter. I don’t want to do a Two Talking Heads Sharing Banter show, at least, not for the entire show; even Statler and Waldorf would have gotten tiresome if they’d ever been on screen together for more than a few minutes at a time. I don’t want to be the sole writer/producer/director, as I already know that would play to my worst character flaws.
What I would like to see us produce is more of a variety show, focusing on SF/F stories and the people who write and read them, yes, but also including other people’s video and audio work. Ideally, I’d like to find people who can independently produce short segments that can be integrated into a larger program.
Most of all, I want to find people with fresh ideas; ones that I haven’t even imagined.
At least, that’s my line of thinking. Now tell me what you would like to see.
~brb
P.S. And then go watch Quantum Doughnut.
